The Christmas season is full of temptation: family gatherings, parties, Christmas markets, even the office party. But if you want to stay sober for the end of year celebrations, then here I give you my top 10 strategies that have helped me in my journey.
- Take your own non-alcoholic drink to an event. Something that you enjoy when you don’t drink alcohol. I love experimenting with non-alcoholic cocktails. There are so many great alternatives out there. Most supermarkets have something on their shelves these days. The sober movement is bringing us more and more fun options.
- Plan ahead. Know where you are going and who will be there. Know your triggers and have a plan to avoid them, e.g. leaving the room, changing the subject, etc
- Stay busy or keep your mind occupied. Don’t let yourself get bored or lonely – that’s when the cravings kick in. There are many ‘Quit Lit’ books out there that will give you inspiration and motivation to keep going. I also like to be creative, whether it’s arts and crafts with the kids or re-organising my pantry. There are so many ways in which you can be creative.
- Reach out for support. Whether it’s attending meetings or talking to an accountability partner / sober buddy, having supportive people in your life is crucial. My biggest help has been connecting with other sober people from the sobersphere on social media. I made friends with some great people there and we are talking over the phone these days.
- Be honest with yourself and others about your sobriety. Let people know that you’re not drinking. This will help you stay accountable and also help others understand and support your decision.
- Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Eating well, getting enough sleep, and managing stress are all important for staying sober. Meditation has been a great help to learn to center myself and to be mindful of my being.
- Remember WHY you’re doing this. It’s easy to forget your goals when you’re faced with temptation, but remind yourself of the reasons you decided to stay sober in the first place – whether it’s for your health, your family, or anything else that’s important to you. I always play that tape forward in my head which brings me back to my reasons WHY.
- If it is all too much, just excuse yourself and leave. It’s fine to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. Remember you are the master of your own life. You don’t owe anyone an explanation really and there will always be people who don’t get it, and that is up to them. (Often they are people who could actually benefit from taking a break from alcohol too. Their drinking habits are being highlighted and it’s uncomfortable for them.)
- I love going for walks these days. We got a dog in the Spring so it’s been a perfect excuse to go out and get some fresh air. Even without a dog, walks can be a meditation in itself. Really take in your surroundings and notice details in the landscape. It brings you right back to yourself and into the present. This gives you focus.
- Finally, you can say NO to an invitation, if you are not sure that you can go to the gathering and stay sober. We often put so much pressure on ourselves to always say YES but ultimately we are the ones who suffer the consequences. Until you are fully comfortable in your sobriety, it is ok to not go and hopefully you’ll be able to make it to the next one when you are feeling stronger.
There are so many other fun and healthy activities that don’t include alcohol.
The end of year celebrations can be stressful, emotional and full of reflection so we often use alcohol as a crutch to get us through all the uncomfortable feelings but ultimately alcohol will never take any of it away. It will only drag things out as you are battling through the hangovers. Your mental health will take a bashing, every time you reach for the bottle. It’s not a long term solution, just a temporary silencer.
These days I just love being present for my loved ones, have all the energy I need to make the magic happen for the kids and also for us. There are many things in the calendar in December but I can take it and enjoy it with a clear head now. Before I used to get overwhelmed by it all and just drink, like I was sticking my head in the sand. By the end of December I’d be a shaky, bloated hot mess and glad it was all over. Thankfully it’s not going to be like that any more. It is a busy time but I want to enjoy it and create memories that last a lifetime. I owe it to my family and myself!
Don’t be afraid to reach out if you have any questions or need an accountability partner. That can be me, if you want. 🙂 Just drop me an email jweis@sobersocialsluxemburg.org
Life is what you make it!
Jessica